27. Where am I headed?
a reflection on the past 10 years and what lies ahead
It’s been 10 years since I started my career as a freelance photographer, specifically in the journalism industry. In October 2014, I wrapped up a short internship in Toronto with the Canadian Press and moved to my hometown to see if I could freelance as there weren’t any newspaper jobs left. I went into this world without much of a plan and clueless about how it was supposed to happen. I knew the gist of it - an editor calls you for an assignment, you go to the assignment, edit, caption, and file the photos. I was told to network, work on personal projects, maintain editor relationships but it all still felt SO uncertain and confusing. I worked part-time at a group home while trying to navigate my way through the industry. I was able to go full time in 2017 and it’s been a steady uphill battle in feeling secure in this space.
There is no formula to this. Back in 2020, someone asked “How are you getting all this work when you just moved here?” assuming it magically happened. It’s all a mix of right time, luck, skills, right friendships/network, and genuinely good people giving me opportunities when I was still stumbling around with my camera.
In January 2018, I wrote out short term and long term goals. One of the long term goals was to “work for the New York Times in 5 years” and by December 2018, I had my first NYT assignment, two days before I moved to Philadelphia. I’m approaching almost 6 years of freelancing in Philadelphia and I’m grateful for how far I’ve come.
But with the pace of work changing, low rates, a saturated industry, I don’t feel like I can keep doing the same thing. This isn’t to say I haven’t worked hard these past 10 years, but there’s been like a wash, rinse, repeat cycle going on with my freelance life. In some ways, I’ve outgrown my current way of freelancing and am confronted with having to rethink how it can work for me now.
I think about my life before having my son. I would work, hang out with my husband, visit friends and family, travel, attempt a hobby or two, and repeat that every week. One reason I became a mom was purely out of curiosity and being open to how it would disrupt my life. Even with knowing my life would be turned upside down, I was still curious about the experience.
I think about where I want to go next in my career and my relationship with photography and this industry, and I have similar feelings I had right before I gave birth. There’s an anticipation building up with the potential I have in my relationship with photography and this industry. I don’t know what it looks like, but I feel like I’ve been growing and cultivating new dreams ready to be born. A friend recently reminded me to be the captain of my own ship. With some apprehension, I’m ready to take charge of my career rather than letting it sit in the hands of others.
As I was writing this post out, I stumbled upon of Alex Elle’s piece on the sacredness of letting go. “Letting go is not an end but a sacred act of renewal. A rebirth. Autumn, in its vibrant yet fleeting glory, can teach us all about the delicate art of release.”
Just to be clear, I’m not leaving the photojournalism industry. I’m just opening up myself to different paths, new opportunities and continually being curious to my potenetial. Becoming a mom didn’t mean I left my former childfree life. There was a readjusting period, but I think I’ve merged and blended my former and current lives together. And it’s an ongoing process.
The process of letting go of old perspectives on myself and who I am as as photographer is terrifying but I know something rewarding lies ahead.
Thank you for reading through 💫
Recent Work…
This is a honest and direct piece by Jonathan Clements as he reflects on the remaining months he has to live. Clements wrote this op-ed piece for the @washingtonpost on what he had learned about dying after he was given about a year to live earlier this year.
In May, he was told he had stage 4 cancer, which started in his lungs and now spread to his brain and elsewhere.
He shared with me that he hasn’t changed too much of his lifestyle. The real pleasure is in his day-to-day living with his wife, in his writing, taking a nap, drinking his coffee and going out to dinner. He isn’t going to spend all the money he has despite his substantial savings.
Reporter Sabrina Rodriguez (@sabrod1234) and I visited Reading, PA where about 70% of the population is Puerto Rican. Former president Trump set up a campaign office in Reading specifically to reach out to Latino voters.
The day we visited was the annual Puerto Rican Day parade with hundreds of people attending. The music was loud with 90% of the parade full of jeeps and bikes.
There was also a large group of Harris supporters handing out lawn signs and posters to the crowd.
The parade ended right at Trump’s office where a dozen Trump supporters yelled at the Harris supporters.
“The Latino vote will be the swing vote in Pennsylvania in 2024,” said Rafael Collazo, executive director of UnidosUS Action Fund, the political arm of the largest Latino civil rights organization, which has endorsed Harris. “And there’s still a set of Latino voters, most of which are Puerto Rican, in Pennsylvania that aren’t decided.”
Recent article for the New York Times about the decline of Gen Z congregants in Black churches. Most of the photos were done by Eric Lee, current NYT fellow, and I made a portrait of Rev. Dr. Mark Tyler at Mother Bethel A.M.E Church in Philadelphia. A church that once had 4,000 members now has about 300 attending.
Other published work…
VoteBeat - How Philadelphia’s history of election fraud fuels Trump’s false claims about the city
Washington Post - Trump attack on Harris racial identity strikes a nerve at Black church watch party
Other updates…
Starting on Sunday this week, I’m joining the National Geographic Society’s Photo Camp in Indianapolis, Indiana as a team leader where I will be a teaching assistant to group of youth who will learn about photography.
Also at the end of the month I’ll be a speaker for the NPPA’s Women in Visual Journalism conference in Dallas.
Links, podcasts, blogs ✨✨✨
I find myself laughing out loud to every “If I Ruled the World” episode Trevor Noah does with his team.
A small list of resources and place that are helping with Hurricane Helen relief efforts. Mergoat Mag has another list here.
The timeliness of this Hidden Brain episode on uncertainty is perfect.
✨✨✨ Until next time!
Always appreciate your openness and honesty about navigating this industry.
Your note about weaving together your past and present self (before and after becoming a mother) resonates with me deeply. Thank you for sharing.
Loved reading this, and thank you for sharing with such honesty! I started my freelance career and transitioned from part-time to full-time all around the same time as you and share so many of these feelings! I'm also feeling like I'm on the precipice of something new at the moment. I'm not really sure what that is yet, but I'm excited to find out!