17. Finding community

and the need for being interdependent

Jul 25, 2023

I think I’m still processing that we’re more than halfway through the year. Our son turns one at the end of this week, which means we are entering into a new phase of our lives as a family and as parents. Today, I want to talk about community and the importance of being interdependent.

For as long as I can remember, being independent was a marker of whether I was successful or not. Not needing other people’s help felt like an accomplishment and something to be proud of. In the world of freelance, you’re encouraged to be a lone wolf and take care of yourself first. The industry is somewhat set up so that we view our peers and colleagues as our competitors. The idea of having to survive and succeed without anyone’s help feels like an outdated and even a toxic way to exist. As social beings, trying to be entirely independent seems lonely.

I would not be where I am without the help and support of other people. While I was in photojournalism school, I heavily depended on my friends and teachers to answer my questions - questions about gear, how to use Photomechanic, what kind of flash to use, how to find the right story, and so on. The posture of asking for help puts me in a vulnerable position, but this is how I’ve been able to grow and thrive in my work.

Once I became a parent, it became pretty clear I wouldn’t be able to continue on if I didn’t depend on others, let alone be able to work. I am intentional about building community and that allows me to pursue my work in the capacity I do. People often comment on how I’m able to travel or go on work assignments, but it’s because I’m serious about taking up offers of help from the people in my life. Friends offered to babysit, my parents traveled me with on an international reporting trip, my husband will travel with me to work conferences or assignments, my peers in the industry that continue to pass my name off for gigs and editors continue to hire me and support the season of life I am in now.

I’ve also learned the importance of showing up and supportive of my family, friends and colleagues. I can’t ask “where’s my village” or “why don’t I have community” without making myself available. It also means allowing people in to the good and the bad parts of my life; letting people see when I’m having a hard time and when I’m thriving. I do my best to give my time and expertise to young photographers when needed.

Our modern society isn’t made for building community. In some ways, it’s like these structures want us to be isolated. We’re overwhelmed and busy with our own families, or trying to survive day to day life because everything is costly and stressful. We live in spaces that are far away from one another. We move because of our jobs and careers. It takes intentionality to form community, and some resistance to the current structures of our modern world. Phone calls, flying or driving to visit one another, moving closer to family instead of away, being with one another when there’s chaotic children running around, weekly pizza nights, and continual curiosity for one another.

I highly recommend listening to the Ezra Klein show episode about the ‘Quiet Catastrophe’ brewing in our social lives with guest Sheila Liming about the loneliness crisis we are living in at the moment. I hope community becomes a priority for you in the midst of this loneliness epidemic we are living in at the moment.

Recent Work …

The New York Times - Ann Roth Is Hollywood’s Secret Weapon
I met Ann Roth, a costume designer, at her home in eastern Pennsylvania. I was inspired by her creativity and her wit, and how at 91, she is still working. If you watch the new Barbie movie, you’ll see her in it and why Greta Gerwig refused to cut Roth’s scene from the movie.

The Washington Post - Gangnam Style vs. Squalor: Inequality in South Korea’s most famous area
Back in June, I spent time with Washington Post reporter Minjoo Kim as we explored the two worlds of Gangnam in Seoul.
Most people, even those living in Seoul, do not realize the slums exist in Seoul. We know the glitzy Gangnam, but not about the 1,100 households living in Guryong Village which sits in the most southern part of the Gangnam district.
In preparation for the 1988 Summer Olympics, Seoul’s military leaders razed run-down neighborhoods to build stadiums, parks and transit networks. People lost their homes overnight and had no where to go. This is how Guryong Village came to be.