16. Finding delight
especially when nothing seems right
Hello from Philly! I am officially back in the US and I’m slowly settling in to life at home. It’s been a bit of a rough adjustment with sleep deprivation. I miss the efficiency of Seoul, the milk teas available at every coffee shop and being able to blend in quietly with everyone around me.
My last few weeks in Seoul were some of my most intense weeks. I was finishing up my project with the Washington Post, worked on a separate assignment for the Post while also finding sources for my Nat Geo grant. My mom visited her family for a few days, so it was Alex and me for a bit. I was feeling a tad anxious about finding the right characters for my Nat Geo project. I’ll be returning to South Korea in September to finish up this project on displaced people from the north (실향민/shil hyang min)
One June 9-11, I went to Sokcho once more with my mom and friend/fixer Yoola to find the character we want to connect with. We were told there was a festival specially for displaced peoples from the north during this time, but it ended up being more of a tourist attraction rather than an opportunity for us to meet people.
On top of that, it stormed almost all weekend which made it even more difficult for us to interview people. Saturday night, I felt a bit hopeless. To begin with, there aren’t many displaced people alive anymore. In Abai Village alone, there are only 10 first gens alive and about a dozen 1.5 gen individuals alive. How would I find the right person? I thought “What was the point of this trip if I don’t meet anyone?” “Was this a waste of my time and resources?” “Uhhh will I have to give my grant back?” You can see where my mind was going.
While resting and waiting for a storm (literally and maybe even mentally) to pass, I started listening to Glennon Doyle’s We Can Do Hard Things podcast and their episode with Ross Gay. As I listened, I started to recognize this trip was not ONLY about finding a character or working on my project.
When would I be able to be in Sokcho, South Korea with my mom and my son? There was a shift. This was going to be a good trip even if I don’t meet anyone for my project. I got to eat good food (North Korean cold noodles, Abai soondae, kalguksoo), be with my mom and my son in a beautiful, small town and I was getting to know my fixer. I decided to find delight in the trip even when things didn’t seem to be going well. I had to lay down my expectations and go with whatever was in front of me.
I delighted in being able to walk in a foreign city, at night, all by myself. I delighted being on the East Sea. I delighted in seeing my son enjoy new food and new sights. I delighted in seeing my mom spend time with her younger sister. I delighted in seeing sources we had met in May again. I delighted in cool weather, the smell of the salty sea, different east coast accents and seeing the mountains from afar.
On my last day, about an hour before I had to catch my bus back to Seoul, my fixer and I decided to explore Abai Village one last time to see if we would meet anyone. People were either too busy to talk to us or apprehensive about what we were trying to do. Just as I was about to give up, I saw an older lady walking down an alleyway. I waved at her and she smiled at us. We told here what we were looking for and she invited us into her home. She told us a bit about her story and agreed to let me spend September with her. I couldn’t believe the miracle we had stumbled across.
I found delight and more on this little trip to Sokcho.
Other things…
I don’t have much work to share with you but hopefully next month! Enjoy these hot and sticky days. Summer is too short so I hope you’re able to find delight in your days.
I’m available for assignment for July and August!
I love all this so so much, Hannah.
Congratulations! I’m so glad it worked out and that you enjoyed yourself. It’s been fun following on IG. I kept note of some places because I will be in Korea in July. :)