My husband and I flew for the first time with our son last week. I was terrified because I wasn’t sure how he would react, how taking off would make him feel, if he could handle the disruption of his sleep and being in a new environment.
Sometimes when something seems daunting, I want to avoid doing it. That’s normal, right? It’s human to want to avoid the hard things. I remember feeling the sense of dread leading up to the flight - we’ve all been on a plane with a crying baby and it isn’t pleasant. I didn’t want baby A to have a hard time and I also didn’t want to disrupt the other passengers. But everything went well. People were friendly, baby A slept most of the flight and only cried a tiny bit on the way home since it was way past his bedtime. I was even able to see a side of my husband, my son and myself because we took this trip.
Taking that first step to do what’s scary is the most difficult step. After you take that first step, the momentum builds for the next steps. I thought only of how things would go wrong and wasn’t sure if anything would go right. If I gave into the voice of fear, I wouldn’t have flown, missing out on a week of spending time with family and friends. You just gotta do the thing to get through it. As Brene Brown says, “You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both.” When you do something once that you’re afraid of, the next time it feels much easier.
All the good things in my life have come from moments of courage. I don’t know if I’d call myself a courageous person, but one moment of courage is all it takes to move forward.
Every decision I made based on courage always turned out better than I anticipated. Freelancing full time, wedding photography, moving to Philadelphia to start over… all of those decisions were terrifying. The biggest decision was moving to Philly. How would I start over in a new country, in a new market? I did not know a single person in the city before moving here - I was starting over at age 32. It was uncomfortable to start over, reach out to editors who didn’t know who I was and hope and pray that there’d be some momentum. I’m now in my fifth year of freelancing in Philadelphia and I’m still surprised by the opportunities I am given.
This flight with my son reminded me that good things lie ahead when I’m led by courage. I hope you can do one courageous thing today for yourself ✨
Recent Work…
In January I met Coraline and her parents, Dani and Gabe, in their home in Berks County, PA for a story on how telehealth can help with autism diagnoses for Spectrum News.
Photo editor: Rebecca Horne
I met Rasheed and Chantel for the @wsj on a story about spontaneous and last-minute hang outs. Both talked about how these plans are more fun and that it’s harder to stick to planned meet ups.
For me, as a freelancer and now a new mom, I welcome the spontaneous hangouts. It is a bit vulnerable to reach out because there is a chance someone will say no or are already busy, but if they aren’t, then it’s a nice little surprise for that day.
“Over the past few years, many gatherings had to be meticulously arranged in advance—and often got canceled anyway because of Covid-19 concerns. And recently, a season of swirling flu, RSV and other viruses, a ramped-schedule of postpandemic events, as well as recurring bouts of social burnout have continued to disrupt long-range plans. Now, some people have homed in on an antidote: the last-minute hangout. Serendipitous meetups that come together spur-of-the-moment can strengthen relationships and give us more control over when we want to socialize.
Last-minute invitations can help strengthen friendships, says psychologist Marisa Franco. Spontaneous invitations are inherently risky because the invitee is likely to be busy, but the request alone communicates faith in the friendship’s foundation and a willingness to be vulnerable, she says. Waiting to plan a get-together until closer to the date can also help prevent last-minute cancellations. The planner has more control over how much energy and excitement he or she has, psychologists say.”
Photo editor: Sam Kelly
For the New York Times, I was able to get a sneak peek of the Disney100 exhibition at the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia.
Photo editor: Brent Murray
Bario Neal in Philadelphia and New York City makes custom jewelry from recycled material and heirloom pieces. I spent a morning in their workshop for the New York Times.
Photo editor: Tanner Curtis
Other things…
◆ What We See Book Signing in NYC ◆
Saturday, March 11, 2023
2:15 PM — 3:15 PM
International Center of Photography (Bookstore)
Join us in the International Center of Photography’s bookstore for a book signing with curators Daniella Zalcman, Sara Ickow, and book contributors Nina Berman, Kholood Eid, Lola Flash, Hannah Yoon, Susan Meiselas, Rosem Morton, and more! Buy the book here! See you in New York!
Melissa Lyttle wrote about one of the many struggles us freelancers go through especially with photo editors, getting paid on time and overall feeling respected in what we do. Important read for those in the industry.
Stop Endlessly Chasing the “Next Big Thing” in 2023 from The Happiness Lab (featuring Tony Hale)
Ryan Kellman’s work from Ukraine
The only book I was able to finish this past month was Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah’s “What Happened to You?” which I highly recommend on audiobook.